Widows/ Women

Growth: The Second Stage Of Widowhood

October 2, 2019 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

Reading Time: 2 minutes

On today’s Intelligent Money Minute, we’ll interview Kathleen Rehl on the second stage of widowhood: growth. Previously, we interviewed Kathleen on grace: the first stage of widowhood. Kathleen continues the discussion by sharing the process of growth. Because a widow’s cognitive functions have normalized, she is now able to do more general financial planning. Some of the decisions mentioned are basic estate planning, reevaluating investments, taxes, and retirement. A widow may also need to update her documentation, due to the fact that many of her documents may be in her husband’s name. Kathleen discusses the important change in mindset for the widow to make “our home” into “my home.” Many factors considered, there is no definite time period for the growth stage.

You may be a recent widow or know of a widow who is in this second phase of widowhood called Growth, or you may still be in the first phase of Grief. Regardless of which stage you are in, we’d love to help you. You may need help deciding what options you have regarding the proceeds from your late husband’s life insurance proceeds or annuity. You may need help with retirement decisions as Kathleen mentioned. Perhaps you need help updating your financial goals or estate planning documents, or just need someone to talk with regarding your financial questions. We have a page dedicated to widows and you can find it here. Please be sure to join us as Kathleen talks about the third stage: grace.

On upcoming podcasts, Kathleen will talk about the three stages of widowhood- Grief, Growth, and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by clicking here.

Kathleen Rehl Bio

Kathleen M. Rehl, Ph.D., CFP®, CeFT® wrote the multi-award-winning book, Moving Forward on Your Own: A Financial Guidebook for Widows. Experiencing widowhood herself, Dr. Rehl empowers widows financially™ and inspires their advisors. Her work has been featured in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, AARP Bulletin, CNBC, USA Today, U.S. News & World Report, Journal of Financial Service Professionals, Journal of Financial Planning, and other publications. Rehl owned a financial planning firm for 17 years before retiring to her “encore” career. She walks an hour daily, practices yoga, enjoys art and music festivals, writes poetry and makes art, loves her grandsons . . . and continues to evolve on her journey.

Grief: The First Stage Of Widowhood

August 28, 2019 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

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Reading Time: 2 minutes

On today’s Intelligent Money Minute, we’ll interview Dr. Kathleen Rehl on grief: the first stage of widowhood. In Kathleen’s book, Moving Forward on Your Own: A Financial Guidebook for Widows, three stages of widowhood are mentioned. Due to the countless widows Kathleen has mentored, grief is the first stage discussed in her book. According to Kathleen, the most noteworthy physical effect of widowhood is that of the brain. Because of the effects in decision-making, a widow should not be making irrevocable financial decisions right away. Rather, her immediate needs and those of her new life ahead should be focused on. Widows should be encouraged to take a moment to breathe, not to be pressured to make rash decisions.

If you are a recent widow or know of a widow who is in this first stage of widowhood called Grief, it may be best just to take a moment to breathe as Kathleen suggests. Take your time to slowly process your thoughts and don’t make any rash financial decisions because you are feeling pressure from friends or family. We understand that all widows have a need to feel financially secure. We’ll be interviewing Kathleen on the other two stages of Widowhood- Growth and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by going to investedwithyou.com/podcasts. We’ll also have a link to the PDF she mentions here.

On upcoming podcasts, Kathleen will talk about the three stages of widowhood- Grief, Growth, and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by clicking here.

Kathleen Rehl Bio

The Journey Of Becoming A Widow To Financially Guiding Widows

July 11, 2019 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

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Reading Time: 2 minutes

On today’s Intelligent Money Minute, we’ll interview Dr. Kathleen Rehl on becoming a widow to financially guiding widows. Kathleen’s late husband challenged her to accomplish her purpose in life. As a result of his challenge, Kathleen shifted the focus of her financial planning practices. First, as a widow herself, Kathleen knew she needed to change her practice in guiding widows and focusing on them. While Kathleen had the financial background to help her in widowhood, she knew other widows did not. Second, Kathleen knew she needed to write a book. She wrote Moving Forward on Your Own: A Financial Guidebook for Widows to instill financial confidence in other widows. Kathleen desires that her book be gifted to widows in need of the “fog being lifted.” Therefore, she addresses 3 stages of widowhood: grief, growth, and grace. You can purchase Kathleen’s book here.

If you are a recent widow or know of a widow who may be in a financial fog due to the loss of their spouse, we’d love to help lift that fog so you can see your path ahead. On upcoming podcasts, Kathleen will talk about the three stages of widowhood- Grief, Growth, and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by clicking here.

Kathleen Rehl Bio

3 Ways to Avoid Probate

February 16, 2018 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

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Reading Time: < 1 minute

Listen to Chad Groover, elder law attorney from Upstate Elder Law, talk about ways to avoid probate on our latest podcast. Be sure to also listen and read our prior blog and podcast on how the probate process works.

You may have heard about the horrors of the court proceedings after death, but in truth, probate has gotten an undeservedly bad reputation, especially in recent years. If you bypass probate, your estate will go to your beneficiaries without any court proceeding, and you may save a certain amount of time and expenses. However, there is usually little reason for most people to avoid probate today. States continue to revise their probate laws, making them more consumer friendly, particularly for small estates. In fact, there are some good reasons to distribute your property by will. Decisions are binding and have legal finality once your will is probated. Creditors who fail to file claims against your estate within a specific amount of time — usually six months after receiving notice — are out of luck.

However, some major drawbacks to probate do exist, including the time it can take. The process averages six to nine months to complete but may take up to two years or more for some complex estates, tying up the assets that your family may need immediately. Also, for a larger estate, the cost may be as high as 5 percent of the estate’s value.

To learn more, consider downloading our Bypassing Probate Article

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How the Probate Process Works

February 13, 2018 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

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Reading Time: < 1 minute

Listen to Chad Groover, elder law attorney from Upstate Elder Law, talk about how the probate process works on our latest podcast. In case you missed it, We heard Chad Groover speak at our First Friday Networking at Noon event.

Intelligent Investing does not provide any tax, legal, or accounting advice. Any material in the email or attachments has been prepared for informational purposes only, and is not intended to provide, and should not be relied on for, tax, legal or accounting advice. You should consult your own tax, legal and accounting advisors before engaging in any transaction.

10 Tips for Caring for a Spouse or Parent who has Become a Child

November 20, 2017 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

Reading Time: 2 minutes

10 Tips for Caring for a Spouse or Parent who has Become a Child.

It has been over three years since my grandma passed away from dementia/ Alzheimer’s on Thanksgiving Day, 2014. She was a sweet lady who almost overnight went from being independent to dependent upon my grandpa and my parents. Unfortunately, this is not an unusual situation in America today. Many of us know loved ones who suffer from dementia or Alzheimer’s. Intelligent Investing’s first core value is Compassion, and we believe we must have compassion on our loved ones. It is our duty and privilege to help those in need--especially family. Share on X

My grandpa took care of her until he no longer was able. His health then declined after her passing, and my parents became his caretaker for the remainder of his life. He was promoted to heaven to join my grandma in March of this year. I observed the emotional toll and stress on my parents as they sometimes didn’t know what to do or who to turn to for help during their final years. I know this is a common theme for many families across America.

Sobering Statistics

As of 2009, the value of the services family caregivers provide for “free,” when caring for older adults, is estimated to be $375 billion a year. That is almost twice as much as is actually spent on homecare and nursing home services combined ($158 billion). More than 65 million people, 29% of the U.S. population, provide care for a chronically ill, disabled, or aged family member or friend during any given year and spend an average of 20 hours per week providing care for their loved one.

After reading several books and observing my parents in their reversing roles, I wanted to provide some helpful tips for anyone caring for a spouse or parent who has become a child.

10 Tips for Caring for a Spouse or Parent who has Become a Child

Don’t argue, but rather change the subject.
Don’t try to shame or lecture your parent into doing what is best for them. Distract, divert attention, and do what has to be done.
Avoid the word remember. Instead reminisce with your loved one, remind and reassure.
Physical touch is important.
Monitor medications!
Get rid of clutter. Simplify even family photos.
Make spiritual input a priority. Worship together, read Scripture, sing. Even if you can’t carry a tune, the words of those songs can still lift a heart.
Take care of yourself. You can only do so much. There is no shame in asking for help.
Pray–for strength and patience, but also prayers of thankfulness for giving you the opportunity to bless them.
Celebrate everything you can.

If there is anything we can do to help your family, please let us know.

To learn more, I recommend picking up the book, “When Your Parent Becomes Your Child” by Ken Abraham.