widowhood

Remarriage Can Be a Tough Conversation

March 4, 2020 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

Reading Time: 2 minutes

On today’s Intelligent Money Minute, we’ll interview Kathleen Rehl on how remarriage can be a tough conversation. Kathleen gives advice on how to have the conversation of remarriage with your widowed clients. Speaking from personal example, she shares the process of becoming ready to remarry. She also sheds light on the types of conversations she and her new husband have had. Of top priority was the communication with and among their children. Also of importance was discussing their finances (i.e. estate plans, housing, prenuptial agreements, etc.) Maximizing communication with family and a new spouse is imperative because of the deep emotions that can be involved. A helpful article for having this conversation with your client can be found here.

As Kathleen mentioned, money can be a topic that can divide spouses and family members. At Intelligent Investing, one of our unique factors that makes us different is how we strive to unify families in financial communication. We’d love to be the bridge between spouses and multiple generations to make sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to money. To learn more about our unique factors visit What Makes Us Different.

On upcoming podcasts, Kathleen will talk about the three stages of widowhood- Grief, Growth, and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by clicking here.

Kathleen Rehl Bio

Kathleen M. Rehl, Ph.D., CFP®, CeFT® wrote the multi-award-winning book, Moving Forward on Your Own: A Financial Guidebook for Widows. Experiencing widowhood herself, Dr. Rehl empowers widows financially™ and inspires their advisors. Her work has been featured in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, AARP Bulletin, CNBC, USA Today, U.S. News & World Report, Journal of Financial Service Professionals, Journal of Financial Planning, and other publications. Rehl owned a financial planning firm for 17 years before retiring to her “encore” career. She walks an hour daily, practices yoga, enjoys art and music festivals, writes poetry and makes art, loves her grandsons . . . and continues to evolve on her journey.

Why Widows Are Hot

February 6, 2020 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

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Reading Time: 2 minutes

On today’s Intelligent Money Minute, we’ll interview Kathleen Rehl on why widows are hot. During this episode, Kathleen explains why widows are hot and how the future is female. First, she states several statistics concerning the high percentage of widowed/singled women at death. Compared to men, significantly more women are widowed or single when they die. Kathleen also mentions that most of the world’s wealth is being controlled by women today. This is due to many women being beneficiaries of an inheritance. Lastly, Kathleen remarks on the number of women today in higher education. Investors, and professionals alike, should plan on working with women due to the rise in widowhood.

At Intelligent Investing, we understand there is a current shift and the statistics are clear that there will be a rise in widows and widowhood. Here is a link to the book Kathleen mentioned- The Longevity Economy on our blog page. We also have a page dedicated to widows at investedwithyou.com, where you can find information and content geared towards widows and women.

On upcoming podcasts, Kathleen will talk about the three stages of widowhood- Grief, Growth, and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by clicking here.

Kathleen Rehl Bio

How to Help a New Widow

January 1, 2020 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

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On today’s Intelligent Money Minute, we’ll interview Kathleen Rehl on how to help a new widow, and things not to say. Kathleen initially gives the advice to simply listen to a widow. Such a simple gesture may sound easy, but it is often more difficult than expected. Let her recall memories, remembering her husband, and even letting her cry. This simple act of kindness, listening, goes further than one might imagine. Next, Kathleen gives advice on what not to say to a widow. Phrases such as “I’m so sorry for your loss,” or “at least you still have your children, etc.” are not helpful. Instead, these phrases can be more self-focused than thoughtful. A more insightful phrase may be, “I can’t begin to understand your loss, but I’m going to be here with you.” Lastly, Kathleen mentions how much more beneficial specific questions or gestures may be. Asking “How are you eating/sleeping?” or offering to come over for a visit may be greatly appreciated.

Talking about spouses that have passed away can be difficult, but part of the healing process for a widow. Consider removing cliché phrases such as “At least…., and I’m sorry.” and replacing them with heartfelt questions such as “How are you eating? How are you sleeping.” Let the widow know you are going to be there for them in the days and weeks ahead and consider scheduling a coffee or tea to spend genuine time listening to their grief. For more information on widows, visit our website page for widows by going to investedwithyou.com.

On upcoming podcasts, Kathleen will talk about the three stages of widowhood- Grief, Growth, and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by clicking here.

Kathleen Rehl Bio

Widowhood is Like a Butterfly

November 20, 2019 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

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Reading Time: 2 minutes

On today’s Intelligent Money Minute, we’ll interview Kathleen Rehl on how widowhood is like a butterfly. Kathleen discusses the butterfly’s transformation in her book. She speaks of how we all know the basics of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. However, part of the transformation process is quite different than we would expect. Within a cocoon, you would find the caterpillar liquified into what is called “goop.” This “goop” is amazingly what will one day become a beautiful butterfly. Kathleen explains that the butterfly must struggle on its own to come out of its cocoon to soon fly. Likewise, widowhood can be explained in this light. Kathleen describes widowhood as this “meltdown” process. Widows go through a similar “grief goop.” Most noteworthy is that a widow goes through this process in order to become a beautiful butterfly.

As Kathleen mentioned, the process of widowhood can sometimes feel like “goop” because of the different struggles faced during grief. At Intelligent Investing, we have a webpage dedicated to widows and you can learn more by going to investedwithyou.com/widows. If there is anything we can do to help you transform, please let us know. We will be interviewing Kathleen on many more episodes of Widowhood, so be sure to subscribe to Intelligent Money Minute so you don’t miss them.

On upcoming podcasts, Kathleen will talk about the three stages of widowhood- Grief, Growth, and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by clicking here.

Kathleen Rehl Bio

Grace: The Third Stage Of Widowhood

October 23, 2019 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

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On today’s Intelligent Money Minute, we’ll interview Kathleen Rehl on grace: the third stage of widowhood. On previous podcasts, Kathleen has discussed grief and growth, the first two stages of widowhood. Grace, also called “transformation” by some, is the final stage of widowhood. Kathleen begins by mentioning that at this point a widow may begin advanced financial planning, i.e. advanced estate planning. Becoming confident in her own independence, she may become involved in other efforts such as philanthropic giving. Similarly, Her mindset has been shifted to now share her hopes, values and dreams with future generations. Kathleen mentions, however, that not all widows make it to this stage. This could be a result of the comfort of the growth stage. Ultimately, feeling financially secure is the biggest need of all widows. Kathleen closes with a personal experience, explaining the expected overlapping of the three stages of widowhood.

If you are a widow or know of a widow who is in the third phase of widowhood called Grace, you have come a long way on your journey, but you still may need help with advanced planning. At Intelligent Investing, we’d love to have a conversation with you to discuss advanced estate planning, philanthropy or your legacy. We understand your need to feel financially secure, and we’d love to help you sleep at night knowing you have a coordinated financial plan and portfolio.

On upcoming podcasts, Kathleen will talk about the three stages of widowhood- Grief, Growth, and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by clicking here.

Kathleen Rehl Bio

Growth: The Second Stage Of Widowhood

October 2, 2019 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

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Reading Time: 2 minutes

On today’s Intelligent Money Minute, we’ll interview Kathleen Rehl on the second stage of widowhood: growth. Previously, we interviewed Kathleen on grace: the first stage of widowhood. Kathleen continues the discussion by sharing the process of growth. Because a widow’s cognitive functions have normalized, she is now able to do more general financial planning. Some of the decisions mentioned are basic estate planning, reevaluating investments, taxes, and retirement. A widow may also need to update her documentation, due to the fact that many of her documents may be in her husband’s name. Kathleen discusses the important change in mindset for the widow to make “our home” into “my home.” Many factors considered, there is no definite time period for the growth stage.

You may be a recent widow or know of a widow who is in this second phase of widowhood called Growth, or you may still be in the first phase of Grief. Regardless of which stage you are in, we’d love to help you. You may need help deciding what options you have regarding the proceeds from your late husband’s life insurance proceeds or annuity. You may need help with retirement decisions as Kathleen mentioned. Perhaps you need help updating your financial goals or estate planning documents, or just need someone to talk with regarding your financial questions. We have a page dedicated to widows and you can find it here. Please be sure to join us as Kathleen talks about the third stage: grace.

On upcoming podcasts, Kathleen will talk about the three stages of widowhood- Grief, Growth, and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by clicking here.

Kathleen Rehl Bio

Grief: The First Stage Of Widowhood

August 28, 2019 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

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Reading Time: 2 minutes

On today’s Intelligent Money Minute, we’ll interview Dr. Kathleen Rehl on grief: the first stage of widowhood. In Kathleen’s book, Moving Forward on Your Own: A Financial Guidebook for Widows, three stages of widowhood are mentioned. Due to the countless widows Kathleen has mentored, grief is the first stage discussed in her book. According to Kathleen, the most noteworthy physical effect of widowhood is that of the brain. Because of the effects in decision-making, a widow should not be making irrevocable financial decisions right away. Rather, her immediate needs and those of her new life ahead should be focused on. Widows should be encouraged to take a moment to breathe, not to be pressured to make rash decisions.

If you are a recent widow or know of a widow who is in this first stage of widowhood called Grief, it may be best just to take a moment to breathe as Kathleen suggests. Take your time to slowly process your thoughts and don’t make any rash financial decisions because you are feeling pressure from friends or family. We understand that all widows have a need to feel financially secure. We’ll be interviewing Kathleen on the other two stages of Widowhood- Growth and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by going to investedwithyou.com/podcasts. We’ll also have a link to the PDF she mentions here.

On upcoming podcasts, Kathleen will talk about the three stages of widowhood- Grief, Growth, and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by clicking here.

Kathleen Rehl Bio

The Journey Of Becoming A Widow To Financially Guiding Widows

July 11, 2019 by Hans Blake, CFA, CPA

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Reading Time: 2 minutes

On today’s Intelligent Money Minute, we’ll interview Dr. Kathleen Rehl on becoming a widow to financially guiding widows. Kathleen’s late husband challenged her to accomplish her purpose in life. As a result of his challenge, Kathleen shifted the focus of her financial planning practices. First, as a widow herself, Kathleen knew she needed to change her practice in guiding widows and focusing on them. While Kathleen had the financial background to help her in widowhood, she knew other widows did not. Second, Kathleen knew she needed to write a book. She wrote Moving Forward on Your Own: A Financial Guidebook for Widows to instill financial confidence in other widows. Kathleen desires that her book be gifted to widows in need of the “fog being lifted.” Therefore, she addresses 3 stages of widowhood: grief, growth, and grace. You can purchase Kathleen’s book here.

If you are a recent widow or know of a widow who may be in a financial fog due to the loss of their spouse, we’d love to help lift that fog so you can see your path ahead. On upcoming podcasts, Kathleen will talk about the three stages of widowhood- Grief, Growth, and Grace, so be sure to subscribe by clicking here.