Let’s Get Warmed Up for Piedmont Women’s Center’s Night for Life
To get you ready for tonight’s main attraction, we thought we’d share some jokes of our own. BONUS- One of our favorite math skits is at the very bottom of this page. So, sit back and enjoy!
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent.”
I went to my bank to deposit a check, and they asked me for my ID. I said, “Are you telling me other people are trying to put money into my account and you’re telling them no?”
After hearing a sermon on Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the IRS, “I can’t sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income taxes. Enclosed is a check for $150. If I still can’t sleep, I’ll send the rest.”
My husband is—how should I put this—cheap. Once, he went so far as to reuse the freezer bags our grown daughter Molly left behind after a visit. Needless to say, I was startled when, looking through the freezer, I found packages labeled “steak”, “chicken breast”, and “Molly.”
A local charity had never received a donation from the town’s banker, so the director made a phone call.
“Our records show you make $500,000 a year, yet you haven’t given a penny to charity,” the director began. “Wouldn’t you like to help the community?”
The banker replied, “Did your research show that my mother is ill, with extremely expensive medical bills?”
“Um, no,” mumbled the director.
“Or that my brother is blind and unemployed? Or that my sister’s husband died, leaving her broke with four kids?”
“I … I … I had no idea.”
“So,” the banker said, “if I don’t give them any money, why would I give any to you?”
To publicize colon cancer screenings, an Idaho doctor suggested that a reminder be included in every tax notice. The idea was nixed. “Recommending a colonoscopy in the same envelope as the tax notice may be considered ironic,” said the county treasurer.
My financial advisor asked me “What’s your net worth?”
I said, “I don’t own a net”.
I’ve never understood the concept of the gift certificate, because for the same 50 bucks, my friend could’ve gotten me 50 bucks.
I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.’
Intelligent Investing Supports Piedmont Women’s Center
We hope you enjoyed these financial jokes, but when it comes to choosing a wealth advisor, it isn’t a laughing matter. Intelligent Investing has been supporting Piedmont Women’s Center for many years, and our founder, Hans Blake, served as a member and chairman of the board for Piedmont Women’s Center for six years.
Intelligent Investing is a boutique wealth management firm serving high-net-worth individuals and families. We love organizing our clients’ financial junk drawers through our proprietary Intelligrations™ and behavioral coaching.
We encourage you to consider subscribing to our mercifully short Intelligent Money Minute podcasts, or our Intelligent Insights newsletter.
We hope you enjoy your Night for Life!
~Your Intelligent Investing Advisors
P.S. Feel free to keep scrolling to learn more about us…
Our core values focus on each CLIENT.
What Makes Us Different.
We minimize financial stress to maximize your life.
7 x 13 = 28